so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
