Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
