Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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