Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
