you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
