You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
