I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
