why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
