That's when you crack a 10am beer
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
