I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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