Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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