I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
