My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I intend to get homeless drunk
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
