we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
