im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
