The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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