exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
