hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My vagina just recognized that song.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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