Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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