just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
