he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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