dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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