16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
