i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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