ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
