Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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