Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
