Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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