Just cropdusted the office
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Oh god it's open bar.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
