i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
they're like a gay fantastic four
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
