Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
