is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Randomize
