You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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