adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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