He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
