2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The ass gains better be worth it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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