Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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