this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
