I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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