ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
