okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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