dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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