carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
