stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
