i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
