Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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