If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
