She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
