I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
