My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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