The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
