I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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