there was a trapeze. enough said
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
